Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Guilt and the FRG

Sometimes I fear that I have a lack of couth. I have a nasty little habit that when I am nervous I tend to talk loudly and draw attention to myself. I once dropped an enormous candle in a glass jar in a Walmart, and (while I stood there, mind you) yelled, "OH MY! LOOK WHAT I DID! OH, THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING! I SHOULD PAY FOR THAT!" Many Walmart employees and bystanders came running.

Needless to say when the Fort Riley FRG leader called me out of the blue and asked what food item I was bringing to a large meeting I was completely unaware of, my screaming kicked in.

"OH DEAR! WHAT MEETING? FOOD? HELLO! I JUST MOVED HERE!"

And with those few words I solidified my reputation as the town spaz.

For those unaware, the FRG is the Family Readiness Group. It's (usually) a battalion-level organization of spouses that facilitates information and provides activities to boost morale. It's highly organized, and frankly, you don't want to screw up in front of them.

To be fair, I usually am a prepared person. I hate looking like I don't know what's going on. Luckily the FRG leader was a wonderful person and filled me in on everything. The meeting is at 6:00 pm tomorrow, after I work until 5:30 pm. And I must prepare a dish. For a large group. What.

I hurriedly scanned my cabinets to see what I can make that would be healthy, delicious, and wholesome.
Translation: something fast and portable that won't make people physically ill.

 All I ended up finding was Jell-O packets and various canned fruits. Jell-O salad anyone?? Sometimes my resourcefulness takes my very breath away.

I made the Jell-O and added the fruit, and it looks like something a janitor should throw sawdust on:

Don't judge me. I am the same woman who was responsible for throwing a flaming pan of food out the back door because I knew we didn't own a fire extinguisher. I believe the proper term here is "improvisation", not "desperation".

Wish me luck. The jiggling mass is congealing in my fridge as I type. Hopefully I won't scream at anyone tonight.


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